Star Wars: Death of Darth Kringle 29DEC2013

The North Pole

Pastoral Winter Setting

Our story thus far….

In a galaxy far, far away there once lived a dark lord of the Sith.  Darth Kringle!  He betrayed his master and was forced to flee after he stole the magic corn that could make herbivores fly.  He eventually made his way to Terra where he established a new domain in the far northern reaches of our world. He used his dark powers to enslave a herd of reindeer and their elven herdsmen.  With an iron hand he forced his elven minions to produce millions of toys keeping them stunted with a steady diet of candy.  He annually distributed these toys to establish his new cover as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, or Kris Kringle while his schemes slowly came to fruition.

Meanwhile the terrorist forces of the so-called rebel alliance were routed from Hoth and dispersed to new hideouts.  The notorious bandits – Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca made their way to Earth to bargain with Darth Kringle who refused their entreaties.  In a fit of pique they shot down his sleigh killing Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen!  Santa’s sleigh fell to earth and the Jolly Old Elf was nearly killed.  Only Rudolf escaped – he flew to his friend Sam the Snowman who advised him to seek the aid of the do-gooder Anakin Skywalker and his merry band of Snowtroopers.

Order of Battle

Rebel Terrorists:

  • 4 Laser Turrets
  • 4 Laser Batteries
  • 6 Repeating Blasters
  • 16 Hoth Troops with Laser Pistols or Laser Rifles
  • the captive Darth Kringle
  • an Abominable Snowman
  • the Winter Wizard (who they turned back to the Dark side to enslave Santa)
  • Han Solo
  • Chewbacca
  • Luke Skywalker in a Snowspeeder

Imperials – A Global Force for Good

  • 2 Snow Tanks (manned by General Veers and AT-AT driver)
  • 25 Snowtroopers
  • 1 E-web Repeating Blaster
  • Darth Vader
  • Rudolph the Red
  • Sam the Snowman
  • Probe Droid


The Rebels established defensive positions at opposite corners of the battlefield with a pair of Laser Towers and Laser Batteries at each.  Han and Chewie commanded the north-east corner and the Winter Wizard commanded the south-east corner with Santa near-by.


Peace Begins at Home

The Imperial mission was to rescue Santa either by hitching Rudolph to the sleigh and have him fly off the board with Darth Kringle or to have Mr. Claus board the assault boat and fly away.


Sleigh Ride!

Turn 1

    • The Imperials entered the board from the west with a pair of Snow Tanks which engaged the rebel defenders.  In the meantime, Sam the Snowman mesmerized the crew of a Laser Turret singing “Holly Jolly Christmas” for the rest of the game, keeping that tower out of action.  The players were amazed with the repertoire of Christmas ditties that Sam could sing!
    • The Assault Boat landed in a clearing on the southern board edge and disembarked Darth Vader and his Snowtroopers.
Darth Vader

Give Peace a Chance!

    •  A probe droid got the drop on 3 Hoth Troopers and blew them away.
Probe Droid

Chestnuts Roasting on an “Open Fire!”

    • Luke made a strafing run and killed several Snowtroopers; the Laser Turrets started to blow away Imperials.  The Winter Wizard failed to get his magic up.
    • Across the board, Han and company released they were too far away to engage so they limbered up their gear and started snow shoeing at high speed south.  They did manage to pop the Probe Droid with the Laser Battery.
Han and Chewie

Run Han, Run!

Turn 2

  • The Imperials set-up the E-Web Repeating Blaster and started to chew up Rebel Troops and a general firefight erupted between the Snowtroopers and Hoth Troopers around the lander.  One tank destroyed a Laser Battery while the other missed its targets.
  • The Winter Wizard got his magic going and levitated one tank off the board.  Abominable charged the Snowtroopers, but made a critical fail in his melee attack and was repulsed.
  • Darth Vader tried to use his force powers to sprint to the nearest Laser Battery, but fell on his face-mask.  He then managed to do a force jump landing in contact with his enemy, but had no actions left to engage.
  • Han and company kept running.

Turn 3

It gets brutal here.  Children – do not watch!

    • The Snowtroopers gunned down Abominable with a fusillade of aimed blaster fire.

Smoke if you got’em

    • The E-Web then gunned down the Winter Wizard.
    • Darth Vader cut his opponent in two and started running towards Santa with the Snowtroopers.  Rudolph took to the air flying towards Santa.
    • The Hoth Troopers scythed more Snowtroopers with their puny Blaster Pistols
    • Luke swept in and shot poor Rudolph out of the sky.  He skinned him, cooked him, and had him for supper.

Venison on the hoof!

  • Han kept running and finally was able to get off a pot shot from his Taun-Taun to kill a Snowtrooper.

Children you can open your eyes now.

Turn 4

More brutality and vengeance.

    • Han’s forces are finally almost in position.  Han lets loose with a fusillade from his blaster and downs another Snowtrooper.
    • The Repeating Blaster squads have been whittled down to one man each, but finally get their guns set-up and ready.
    • The remaining Snow Tank shoots down the Snowspeeder and rolls a critical resulting in a mid-air explosion.  Luke fails both attempts to escape and is killed.  The wreckage crashed next to Santa who is pushing his sleigh, but escapes harm.

Not this time Luke!

    • Chewbacca is almost in range and manages a pot shot at Santa that misses.
    • Darth Vader and company keep running towards Santa.
    • The Snowtroopers gun down Han.

So much for the Rebellion!

Turn 5


The Snow Ran Red with Gore!

Children shut your eyes and sing la-la-la very loudly with your hands over your ears.

    • An enraged Chewbacca wins initiative and shoots Santa with his Bowcaster.  His second shot misses, but the Repeating Blaster opens up and finishes off the Sleigh and Saint Nicholas too!
Dead Kringle

Maybe he was just a Mall Santa?

Game over! Childhood ended!  Happy New Years!  Broken Dreams!

Death Toll:

  • Darth Kringle
  • Rudolph the Red
  • Luke the Rebel
  • Han the Bandit
  • Winter
  • Abominable

About the game:

The minis are mostly Star Wars Unleashed Battle Packs with the edition of some old tanks from the Action Figure line and the Christmas toys from Memory Lane.

The rules were an uber-light take-off of Savage World.  Lots of fun – quick and deadly, just the way Mrs. Claus likes it.

No real Reindeer were actually harmed in the playing of this game – the same can not be said for Santa and his friends!

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

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